sigmanero.blogg.se - february 2023

#Prank me dad how to

I went to the store to pick up 8 cans of Sprite.Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth.To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up.Something bad is going to happen, I can feel it. I am reading a horror story in Braille.You know what actually makes me smile? My facial muscles.How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.What do you call a shoe made of a banana? A Slipper.People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks.What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're so good at it.I thought about going on an all-almond diet.To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket.What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller.What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.

#Prank me dad how to

One says to the other, "do you know how to drive this thing?"

I built an electric fence around my garden and my neighbour is dead against it.

Want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it.

What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine.

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.

My friend has designed an invisible aeroplane but I can't see it taking off.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese.

What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant.

Why don't skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

What do you call a can opener that's broken? A Can't opener.

More standard dad jokes, perfect for any sense of humour incorporating a mix of corny puns and dry humor.

I have a fear of elevators, I'm taking steps to avoid them.

I was driving my bread car and it caught alight, now it's toast.

I was gonna tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it.

Saturday and Sunday are strong days because the others are just weekdays.

I don't want to brag, I finished the puzzle in a week and it said 2-4 years on the box.

A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night, oof.

The rotation of earth really makes my day.

I know a lot of jokes about retired people but none of them work.

Sundays are always a little sad but, the day before is a sadder day.

I have this strange talent that I can always guess what's inside a wrapped present - It's a gift.

My 3 favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

I hate it when people say age is only a number, age is clearly a word.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you, it’s a little fishy.

I once ate a dictionary, it gave me thesaurus throat I've ever had.

I was shocked when I found out my toaster wasn't waterproof.

A guy tried to sell me a mirror but I knew it was a scam, I could see right through it.

You should always knock on the fridge before opening it just in case there's a salad dressing.

I'm going to stand outside, so if anyone asks tell them I'm outstanding.

Some mornings I wake up grumpy, on others I let her sleep in.

I love jokes about eyes, the cornea the better.

My mate says I'm getting fat, but in my defense I've had a lot on my plate recently.

I like waiters, they bring a lot to the table.

Whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now.Don’t trust stairs, they’re always up to something.The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.It's a total rip-off.Ī selection of concise and straight forward dad jokes delivered in a single line. How does a penguin build it's house? Igloos it together.Did you hear about the baguette at the zoo? It was bread in captivity.Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.It was the best dam program I've ever seen. I just watched a program about beavers.Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it's tearable.What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.Our top selection of dad jokes which are guaranteed to make you laugh. A good dad joke can be measured by a groan, eye-rolling and any generally any negative reaction. Our list contains a variety of the best dad jokes that we could find, these jokes should get a groan-worthy reaction from the audience. Dad jokes are funny because of their use of unoriginal humor and overused puns. As the name suggests, a dad joke is a type of joke, stereotypically told from the perspective of a dad or middle-aged man.